Origin of my name…

Where did your name come from?

Well…this is quite the interesting story. What I thought was my name for the first 28 years of my life, was actually, NOT! I was born in Spain, where by popular demand and since way back in the 13th century, everyone who was Catholic, had a first name of Maria.  It was a norm to name María (due to Holy Mary) before any other second name in Spain, as well this was true for males (José). In my family, each and every woman was named Maria, something or other.

My mother, an immigrant from Cuba, who by chance also carried Maria as her middle name, was not too keen on that idea, and wanted to name me after one of her sisters, my Godmother. The name she chose was not something that was recognized in the Catholic church, so they went back and forth for some time. My Mother insisted on naming me after my Aunt, and agreed to use Maria as my first name, with my second name being her first choice. I went about life. I left Spain at the age of 6 month and took up residency in the United States. I received a social security card with both my names (as chosen by my mother). I went to school my entire life, with those names. I got married with both those names. I got divorced with both those names. I held Florida licenses under both those names…

At around the age of 27, I decided that I wanted to become an American Citizen. It was long overdue, but since I had to wait until the age of 18 to decide/apply, life just got busy. I always felt like an American Citizen anyways, so I guess I took that title for granted. On my journey to US citizenship, I had many interviews with the Spanish consulate here in the states. I had to request many documents from Spain and submit a lot of paperwork in order to maintain both my Spanish AND my American Citizenship. Throughout the year long process, we discovered that the middle name I had know my ENTIRE LIFE, was non existent. It was not in my birth certificate. Turns out Spain refused to recognize it, and omitted it altogether. I guess my mother refused to accept that fact, and persisted with her chosen name, thereby obtaining all of my legal paperwork in the states incorrectly.

HA! Was this a shocker. Long story short, I had to go to court, pay lots of money to “legally” change my name (by removing the middle name), before Spain would grant me the dual citizenship papers…

MARIA—by definition is of Latin origin and means “drop of the sea, bitter, or beloved.” Maria is quite a popular name in many European countries. Ironically enough, the middle name that I never actually or legally held, derived from Arabic origin and means “the seeker”. Considering I spent almost a year “seeking” the truth and confirming my identity, I sit here pondering whether or not I should change it back as it clearly defines me and my journey!

FEEDING BOTTLE TO THE RESCUE

Some of you may have read my personal stories and my struggle with becoming pregnant. After many years of heartache and despair, I finally conceived, only to be told that my long awaited miracle baby would come into this world facing the many challenges attributed with a cleft lip and palate. My daughter’s diagnosis was discovered via my 20 week ultrasound, and later confirmed via MRI. My initial reaction was to be angry and then to panic. I questioned everything and everyone, God, the doctors, the hospitals, the equipment…could they ALL really be sure? I had never met a person with a cleft lip, the only images that came to mind were those infomercials for Operation Smile. After digesting the news for a day or so, I picked myself up, and refused to play the victim role. I certainly was not going to disappoint my daughter and let her down before she had even made her debut into this world. I needed to be there for her, and make her entry as easy and stress free as I possibly could.

I sprang into action immediately. I interviewed doctors. I scheduled with all of them, months ahead of my delivery. Her surgeon came to meet her hours after she was born. I was READY… or was I? I researched everything, right down to the tiniest detail. We were not certain whether her cleft would extend to the palate, that was just something we would discover at birth, which eventually proved to be true. My daughter was born with a unilateral cleft lip and palate. Sadly, this meant she would have difficulty feeding. I would never be able to breastfeed, despite her attempt to latch on, just minutes out of the womb. It was heartbreaking for me to see her try, and boy did she try… I had the goods, she wanted to latch on, but sadly it was not conducive to our reality. Once again, I put emotions aside and sprang into action! In the hospital, I was introduced and given a special feeding bottle called the Haberman bottle. At the time, it seemed to be one of the only options for feeding my child, other than using a syringe. I’m not sure there are many other bottles on the market that work like this one does.

The bottle is designed to enable the baby to apply pressure with their tongue and gums, as opposed to sucking. A valve separates the nipple from the bottle. Before feeding begins, air is squeezed out of the nipple and is automatically replaced by either your own breastmilk (after pumping) or formula through the valve. Milk does not flow back into the bottle and is constantly replenished as baby is feeding. A split valve will shut between compressions, as to not overflow the baby’s mouth with milk. As a mom, I was also able to control the speed and amount she was consuming by gently pumping (squeezing) the nipple while it was in her mouth.

When she was only 2 weeks old, a NAM (nasoalveolar molding) was made for her little mouth. I’m not going to lie and say this did not take some getting used to. I used the Haberman from birth, through her palate surgery at 11month, when she was no longer allowed to drink from a bottle. She was a “big girl” before the age of one and drank from red solo cups, until healing was completed and she was able to use sippy cups. The NAM was definitely an adjustment because it created a pseudo palate, made from plastic, which destroyed many nipples. I was going through a few nipples per month. Thankfully they were easy to find and replace as needed.

For those who would like to try the same bottle, I will share the link where you can purchase through Amazon. I highly recommend it and if I can be just a little bit helpful with all the moms and dads experiencing this, or getting ready ahead of time like I was, then I am happy to pay it forward.

https://amzn.to/3OLGFRI FEEDING BOTTLE

https://amzn.to/3KNsxpW NIPPLE REPLACEMENTS (Which you will need plenty of)

I live in South Florida and have many contacts for Surgeons, Craniofacial teams, Orthodontics, Otolaryngology, Pediatric Dentist, Therapist, etc. PLEASE, feel free to reach out with any questions I might be able to help with or answer.

For those of you going through a similar situation, please be patient. As overwhelming and nerve-wracking as it is, try to live in the moment. Don’t allow yourselves to be overwhelmed by all the things to come because you WILL miss out. There will be ALOT of appointments. ALOT of surgeries. ALOT of information, but each phase is precious in it’s own way. Time is precious. Enjoy your babies and don’t take a single moment for granted. My daughter is now 11 and I sit back wondering how that happened so quickly.

Thank you for stopping by! GOD BLESS YOU ALL!